Everyone is heartbroken.
Be it major trauma and/or small miscommunications. Everyone has experienced something that has negatively impacted their psychological disposition. It can be passed down through generations. It can be emphasized within certain demographics. It is a fact of life that one mustn’t diminish.
The large majority neglect their pain—they apply band-aid fixes to numb their wounds temporarily while failing to promote authentic healing. Be their fix noble (achievement) or devious (drugs), bandages create a false sense of security that assumes peace.
Unfortunately, the buffer shatters when something enters their atmosphere that exposes their wounds. Some are aware of this pattern; others are oblivious to their innate anguish. Nevertheless, the path to happiness entails a face-to-face visit with our personal heartbreak.
The small minority find strength in their heartbreak--no band-aid solutions. They’ve exposed their wounds to the elements, “airing them out” so that they may heal properly. Scars remain—the remnant of the heartbreak will always endure. However, the scars signify strength and courage. They are an indication that one can secure happiness in spite of heartbreak. In fact, navigating through heartbreak is the one way to lasting freedom.
Everyone is heartbroken. This assertion presents a morbid reality; however, within heartbreak is the path to fulfilment. This paradox encapsulates the human condition. Most humans are searching for fulfilment in green pastures when peace is actually beneath the mud.This awareness is essential. Nevertheless, navigating the mess is demanding and requires courage. The following ethics present a starting guide for battling heartbreak and ensuring personal freedom. While these principles convey the mindset necessary for growth, genuine healing follows hard work.
#1: Band-aid solutions will not heal you. Circumstances may render them vital for survival; however, they should never be utilized as ongoing remedies.
#2: You are the only person that can fix your heartbreak.
#3: You can’t fix someone else’s heartbreak.
#4: “Fixing” someone else’s heartbreak doesn’t, in and of itself, won’t fix yours.
#5: You can’t avoid the alcohol.
Whenever I had an open wound as a youngster, my mom would pour rubbing alcohol on it to kill off all germs. Then healing could begin. And sometimes, IT BURNED. The same is true with navigating heartbreak. When you begin your journey, you will uncover things that hurt, terribly. But don’t avoid those feelings. Not only is it natural but like the alcohol, it is necessary.
#6: Don’t pour alcohol on someone’s wound; only they can do that.
The rubbing alcohol BURNS. And when my mom would pour it, I would flinch, scream, and run. We all know the experience! The reaction is the same when someone pours alcohol on our emotional wounds in the name of “tough love” or “calling it like it is.” No matter how a person responds outwardly, this advance is unwelcome. Even if they asked for feedback, the work is still theirs, alone. The best thing you can do is love and encourage them while respecting their journey (it’s not about you).
In your living room: If you display a propensity for pouring alcohol on others’ wounds, then you probably need it for yourself. Your judgment doesn’t denote strength; it exposes weakness. Check yourself.
In your living room: If you’re constantly frustrated by others’ slow/no progress, then you’re probably unsatisfied with your own. Your impatience doesn’t denote strength; it exposes weakness. Check yourself.
Everyone is heartbroken. No amount of material gain, professional success, or social connection is sufficient enough to erase the pain. They may dull the suffering for a time but until we wrestle with our personal heartbreak, we will never experience pleasure without regret.
Fortunately, anyone can be free. Heartbreak is the chain and the key. Adopting a renewed mindset initiates the healing process. However, this is only the beginning; the road to personal harmony requires ongoing work. The cost is high but the rewards are greater.
Your canvas may be damaged, and your painting tainted. Accept it. It happens—to everyone. But you can still create beautiful work! In the early 1500s, an artist by the name of Michelangelo was tasked with carving a sculpture out of a block of marble that was deemed “flawed” and “uncarvable.” When Donatello, another preeminent artist, couldn’t slay the giant 50 years earlier, experts deemed the project nonsensical (Sounds like a generational curse to me). Nevertheless, from that same block of “defective” marble, Michelangelo fashioned the greatest sculpture known to man, David.
Heartbreak stinks. I get it. But your story doesn’t have to end. So whenever you’re ready, pick up your brushes and step back up to the easel. Today, begin painting your life fit for a museum.